Relationship Advice: Women, Gift-Giving, and the Holidays

by : http://www.menshealth.com

Joy to Your World

You foresee a slog from Thanksgiving to New Year's. She's picturing a whirlwind of snow-globe giddiness. Here's how to stay close--and sane

By: Sarah Miller

I love the holidays. But then, I would: I'm a woman. Cue reindeers, cue childhood memories (and regrets), cue soul-crushing pressure on my man when November rolls around. But relax. It's just the holidays, and you don't have to do it all perfectly. Just a few things.

My gift to you: simple directions to ensure that this year you'll do something naughty under the tree besides accidentally setting off the audio chip in My Little Pony.

Start sooner with her gift

You know the success of your gift to her will make or break your holiday season. So don't spend Christmas Eve--again--wandering the picked-over aisles at Target.

There's a better way. It's called paying attention. When she's browsing in a store or reading a magazine, she'll point to a handbag or jewelry or shoes and say, "Look--how cute!" Listening to the radio or reading the paper, she'll comment that she's interested in reading a certain author or growing herbs or learning Italian. All of this, friend, is her way of saying, "Here are 100 ways to avoid wandering around Target on Christmas Eve." Remember, though: You always score extra points for any gift that has meaning.

There is nothing sentimental about electronic gadgets, though they may indeed make her cry.

Make an effort: Gift certificates say, "I gave up." And gifts marketed as trendy say, "You're like every other woman," says author and gift consultant Sherri Athay. A personal, handmade item, such as a collage of the year's photos, shows that you spent time thinking about her. And exchange gifts in private, say Sheri and Bob Stritof, the guides at www.marriage.about.com. She'll be able to express her appreciation uncensored.

Hit all the parties

Call off that fight you were just about to have--the one about whether you're spending the second Saturday night in December at her friend's party or your friend's party. You're going to attend both of them, bub.

Arrive at one party right when it starts. Stay an hour and a half. By the time you leave, everyone will be loaded and have no idea that you're even gone. And when you hit event number two, everyone there will also be loaded. They'll think you've been there all along. The trick: no grand entrances, and absolutely no goodbyes.

Bring morning-after goodies: Buy baskets and fill each with muffins, pancake mix, syrup, and a bag of good ground coffee. Present one to the host of each party you attend, with a note that says, "You entertained me tonight, so I'd like to return the favor tomorrow morning."